Aplomb

I love the word. Aplomb.

I’d like to think that I wander throughout life exuding aplomb, full of confidence, self-assurance and cool composure.

Today I did it! And the evidence was my jaunty appearance and my unmatched earrings.

I wore two earrings today that were the same color, but a decidedly different design. Does this really matter? If so, Why?

“Socially, it’s just not done,” is not a good reason, because as we have all discovered together, I don’t give a rat what society thinks. I could digress into an aside discussing what a freeing thing that is too… but no, back to the earrings.

Rationally, reasonably, it's a great reward for the woebegone mate of the earring that hangs around after it’s errant buddy has absconded to far bigger and much better things. After all, I ask you, “Has such a devotee not earned the reward of being worn?”

I have heard of persons who advocate punching another hole in the extremities to display the remaining bauble, but I’m beyond the idea of poking another hole in the carapace. I’ve gained the sense that comes with age, and I’m heeding the caution written in small print on the packaging of my ear candle. The warning explains that the ears are sanctuary to nerve endings that affect the overall health and psychological well being of the body. I may or may not have dodged the bullet the first time they were pierced, but who dares mess with the psyche again?

Aside from the holistic, (ha, ha! hole) I’m convinced that all of my brain cells are housed up there, inside my pate and one should never purposely make another avenue for brain cells to escape. As we are aware, there is already a flood of nonsense gushing out another hole in my head.

Back to the earrings, I’ve tried wearing only one and aside from feeling only half dressed, I am convinced it throws off my balance and certainly my personal feug shui. And there is the response that I must make to each and every person who comments, “Oh, you’ve lost an earring,” that of, “No, I’ve found one.”

Such a commentary only promotes my oddball image and I remind myself that my goal is aplomb. I can’t be bothered with the idea that such an innocent activity makes me weird, odd, offbeat or strange. I must keep in mind that, “Everybody is a geek to somebody else” and rest assured that, “If you knew how seldom someone thinks of you, you wouldn’t be concerned with what they think of you.”

So I’m wearing one of each design because I cannot fling an earring callously in the trash. It is my hope that other adventurers will follow the trail less taken and consider the unmated accessory to be not odd, but curiously freeing.

There is also the hope that one or even both of the earrings I am wearing will gain from me the attitude of aplomb. This will free them to take the path of their mates and jump off, be daring and jaunt off into the big wide world.

Thereby making this issue moot.

I dare you.

Reality Bite: Never again will you look on a mixmatched person and think of them as lackadaisical. It takes a lot of planning to pull off chaos.